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I'll Tear My Own Walls Down

by Bill Coleman

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1.
Somebody'll sort you out, I won't give it up, I will give your love a shot. Somebody else in here, Told me how to feel, And picks me up each time I miss your meaning. But it's the same room we're living in, It's the thought that keeps us down, And round picking up Time honoured bad reasons not to take a hold of it. Every time you lose control, Every time you cannot cope, Come and offer up the hope that everything gets better. Somebody'll sort you out, I won't give it up, I will give your love a shot. Somebody else in here, Told me how to feel, And picks me up each time I miss your meaning. But it's the same room we're living in, I can't hope to wear your skin, While you're off trying to turn yourself into Someone who's just a stranger to me.
2.
In this give and take, This line of fakes, That burst the walls of the illusion. I don't feel like flying, I want to drown, I want to tune my mind out. I want to live, To give my love, But something burns from above. I won't give myself room, And in this room, I fight to hold my own attention. Out of my head, Out of my heart, I'm gonna start to prove you wrong. Out of my life, Out of my love, I'm gonna start to prove you wrong. I fall out, I wig out. I'll tear my own walls down. I'm calling, I'm coming. I will not let you down. Out of my head, Out of my heart, I'm gonna start to prove you wrong. Out of my life, Out of my love, I'm gonna start to prove you wrong. Out of these words, Out of this mouth, Out of these years, I'm gonna start to prove you wrong. Out of my time Out of my sight, Out of my fears. I'll prove you wrong.
3.
Devilette 03:59
I don't know who you are, Or where you're going. I don't know what you say. But you make it alright. I don't know who you are child, But I left a message saying, "Please call me". I've spent this night alone thinking, What could I have done wrong, To warrant this face ? Have I drifted on oblivious and uncaring, With a pillow wrapped around my head ? I do not cater to this. I do not think that I am this unfeeling. And I do not like that you are boiling underneath, While your countenance is clear. I look around and feel the atmosphere, And something is lost in me. This scene boils within me, A rapid breath does not conceal my angel vice. I couldn't bear to lose you, Wouldn't dare to hurt you, But you're lost inside yourself. You're off on waves of dismay, Bouncing off walls you've become, The devilette I fear.
4.
First On Me 03:52
Simply beautiful she sails along surfeit, With all her beauty reserved, she's a first on me. She's got a heart full of emotion, That I'm yearning to meet. She's so sublime with her I'll be complete. I'm haunted by the sight of her, Falling on my knees in my dreams. I've never felt so alive, so strange suddenly. I've got a heart full of emotion burning in me. I've never felt so alive and it's shocking to see. I'm walking like a lunatic, Baby I'm talking like I'm full of shit. But there's no answer when I call your name, You're the reason I'm going insane. You're a first on me. It's a travesty of justice, It's a waste of my time and yours. Baby talk to me, babe, emote with me. She's got a heart full of emotion, And I can hear it beat. She's so sublime with her I'll be complete.
5.
Bound 02:59
I know I could have cried, But nobody died, And I'm sorry I've been such a waster of your time. I touch my fingers to your cheek, I kiss your side while you are sleeping, And I wonder how life got so complicated. Don't be mad at me babe. Don't expect me to be safe. Because I'm bound to disappoint you. Bless you. D'youknowwhatImean typekindofthing ? Basically I believe that I need to be free. And I could be wrong but I think I'm right, I think if I believe I might, I might not, But at least I won't wonder.
6.
When you cried you were lost you fell asleep When you dreamed you believed When you lied, you only lied unto yourself And when you died you could see I never cried the way you did I didn't like it when you yelled. I never felt, the way you felt, I didn't like it when you prayed I thought you fooled yourself. When you were shy you got drunk When you were drunk you were a fool When you were a fool you fell apart When you fell apart you picked yourself up again didn't you ? This ain't a lesson before you die it's just a game you've got to play this is a lie you have to live. This is a smile you have to fake so you're controllable And it helps you not to break. This is a crime you have to give to try to save your soul This is a lesson not a rule. And it wasn't easy when the penny dropped inside your head But now you know the joke you tell it to your friends and they're all... When you were shy you got drunk When you were drunk you were a fool When you were a fool you fell apart When you fell apart you picked yourself up again didn't you ? When you were told you wouldn't buy it When you are old you will regret it But you're young so you don't feel it When we're young we think we know everything When you were mad you just broke it When you were bad you tried to hide it When you were crying you were high, When you were laughing you were dry. And every escape is just a lie And every escape is just a lie And every escape is just a lie And every escape is just a lie When you were shy you got drunk When you were drunk you were a fool When you were a fool you fell apart When you fell apart you picked yourself up again didn't you ?
7.
I think I've lost the bit, The chip that keeps me cold. And as I lose my breath, I begin to feel my hope. All you perfect girls, With all your perfect smiles, I love you everyone you, You make it all worthwhile. Say it like you mean it. Say it like you want it. Is this my fifth or sixth, Of just the one or two ? Is this as good as it gets, Or is there something better ? I want you to want me, And I want to want to want you back. But I don't think you believe me, I think you think you've heard that. Say it like you mean it. Say it like you want it. Your stomach churns and your head explodes. And you begin to feel like letting go. But her smile will bring you back again, You're a glutton for punishment. You've got the style and I've got the usual kind of fear of the wrong reaction. Say it like you mean it. (You want it you got it). Say it like you want it. (You want it you got it).
8.
In My Head 04:06
Hand in hand we descend to the graveyard, You're oblivious and I'm duplicitous I fear. Every moment is weighted, Delayed gratification, Of where we start to begin the ending. And all my turbulent thoughts Only serve to make me that much more aware, Of the fact that I'm on the bus, Heading out of town, While you're on the trail of real estate there. And I don't know how I manage to ruin, Everything I lay my hands upon. Is it a disease? Or am I just impossible to please? I've got a feeling, I'm uneasy. I'm tired of never being satisfied, I'd like to move outside and blast off. But I'm in a funk and you'd never know it. I don't know what side I want buttered. I'm sick to the teeth of mediocrity, Especially my own - it's suffocating me. I'm like a spare part - I've got my uses, I've got my belief, but no clue. And I don't know how I manage to ruin, Everything I lay my hands upon. Is it a disease? Or am I just impossible to please? I've got a feeling, I'm uneasy. Rhyme and reason, Cause and effect, In my head girl, What comes next?
9.
Awake 05:19
Turning my insides out - a feeling I feel alone. Far too many times of late I've been wrong, And I don't know which way to go. And I don't know why you can't feel that way. I was hoping you would be the one to lighten up my days. I am awake now. Twisting a lonely dream - I've burned all my bridges. But still I haven't twigged it yet. Shit. There's no sense in staying in this lie, You can't change your feelings. We must us behind and look again, But I don't want to look again. I am awake now. And if you see me you might hear. My whole word just disappear, I just closed my eyes and screamed, dear. I just stopped breathing, dear. It's soft on the inside where I hurt. And it's cold on the outside where I hurt. So I'll try just knowing you Not sensing your being. So I'll try being friendly - but nothing more. No there ain't now nothing more. I am awake now. Too many questions I cannot answer, Too many times I've tried to test the ice yeah. You know I've been breathing far too long, You know I've got questions, And you know I'm not strong. Will you help me breathe? Will you help me breathe tonight? If you see me you might hear. My whole word just disappear, I just closed my eyes and screamed, dear. I just stopped breathing, dear.
10.
What is your future ? What are your plans for life ? Where are you going ? What's on the other side ? What is your purpose ? Are you not thinking right ? I'm just a dreamer, on the fanciful side. But I didn't think about it. Cos I've been blessed. And your cold heart leaves me blind, To your point of view I've been enslaved. Take a look inside your head now. Do you see what you can see ? Does it make you take your breath in ? Can you see it bleed ? A thousand million arguments could not express. The things that I have raged about - your righteousness. It's just a slow burn, like a hurricane rising. I wish you'd listen to me. I wish you'd stop and think about how it feels to believe you can succeed. Did you never want to think about that ? Did you never hold the hand of that ? Did you never see, the possibility ? Your mind is not my mind and I see that every time your eyes meet mine, But blood is blind, Your blood is mine, And I sympathise.
11.
All There Is 05:01
He looks like he's tearing his heart out inside. There's something in his face he's trying to hide. He's phoned around, he's called to her door. There's no answer and he can't take that anymore. She's all there is to me, he said. Without her I'm not me, he said. She's all I want to be, he said. Without her I'm not me. She's been under and over a thousand times. Her heart could stop beating, and she wouldn't mind. Shes doesn't look up - she cannot stand still. Her heart is full up, but she still loves him. He's all there is to me, she said. Without him I'm not me, she said. He's all I want to be, she said. Without him I'm not me. Calm down baby, baby calm down. Cool it brother, you gotta cool yourself down. Dry your eyes sugar it'll work itself out. Cool it brother, simmer down. Because you're all there is to me. Without you I'm not me, You're all I want to be, Without you I'm not me.

about

We recorded most of this in Steve Fanagans place in Dundrum, Dublin. It's just a small semi-detached terraced house. We made most of the guitar takes in the small bedroom and pretty much all the vocals in the bathroom.

Drums were done mostly in a room upstairs from where I was working at the time, though I do think some were made in the sitting room out if Steve's. The live pianos were done in my brother's house out in Leopardstown.

credits

released February 23, 2007

All songs written by Bill Coleman. Produced by Bill and Steve Fanagan. Recorded and mixed by Steve. All instruments played by Bill & Steve except for drums on 1, 2, 3 & 4 (Keith O'Brien), 5, 8 & 11 (Andy Clarke), 7 (Tim O'Donovan).

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Bill Coleman Ireland

Makes music with a laptop, a guitar and a pile of live-recorded loops. Reminds people of Eels, Flaming Lips, Talking Heads...

Spent 2011 writing and recording a song a week - check out the "Throwing S**t at a Wall" album.

Currently working on his third studio album.
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