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Throwing S​*​*​t at a Wall

by Bill Coleman

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1.
Herding Cats 03:20
Chance meeting - post favourite, My blood as cold as snow, Avoiding the question - my lack of confidence shows. I see with crystal vision, Every thread on her coat, You notice somethings missing, My head reacting to a blow. It's not like I planned it - getting hurt like so. It's something I've avoided, Maybe too much I know. All these things just cause confusion, I wish I knew how to better Navigate these thoughts like herding cats I bet you'd do no better. I am an ever turning needle on a post, I cannot stop for fear that you might realise I'm lost. These are the bitter words for me to swallow in my throat, This is the darkest lie to hide behind, But the journey that I'm starting on is long. Every word is too familiar, Every word strikes at the heart, I look at them, I wonder if they could be used to swallow me. I am not your answer calling, I am not your wrecking ball, I am not your angel coming, I am not at your beck and call. I am an ever turning needle on a post, I cannot stop for fear that you might realise I'm lost. These are the bitter words for me to swallow in my throat, This is the darkest lie to hide behind, But the journey that I'm starting on is long.
2.
To Think 02:38
Too much time, too much time to think. Too much wine, too much wine, Too much wine to drink. Too much time, too much time, Too much time to drink. Too many lies, too many lies, Too many lies to put you on. Too many knives, too many knives, Out to find your back. Too many doors, too many doors, So many doors to confuse you with. Too many options, too many words, Too many lines, too absurd. Do I want to watch you Do I want to care, If you want to go there? Too much time, too much time to think. Too much wine, too much wine, Too much wine to drink. Too much time, too much time, Too much time to drink. Too many lies, too many lies, Too many lies to put you on. Too many knives, too many knives, Out to find your back. Too many doors, too many doors, Too many doors to confuse you with. Too many options, too many words, Too many lines, too absurd. Do I want to watch you Do I want to care, If you want to go there? Too much time, too much time to think.
3.
You'll be that love of mine, You'll be that love of mine, Even if you cheat me at scrabble, Or wind me up when your heads all frazzled, You'll be that love of mine. You'll be that love of mine. Even if you think I'm a mentalist, Pot, kettle, black, you're it babe, You'll be that love of mine. Although we've been together for a long time now, I think you're just beginning to see I'm out of my mind. You'll be that love of mine, You'll be that love of mine, Even if you think I make a bad cup of tea And can't cook to save my life unfortunately, You'll be that love of mine. And if you ever turn your thoughts to trying to escape me, Remember sweetheart, the bank accounts in my name. And I will hunt you down and drag you back home by the hair, And make you make me cup after cup of camomile tea. You'll be that love of mine, You'll be that love of mine, Even if can't stand to watch your crappy tv, And you watch things more or less constantly, You'll be that love of mine. So let me get this straight, You decided you'd to cancel the recording of the Munster game, Because you were watching Strictly Come Prancing, And your mother called, So you'd to put it on live pause? Unbelievable. You'll be that love of mine, You'll be that love of mine, Even when you say you're never wrong, When even the dog knows thats laughable, You'll be that love of mine. Even when you act like I am thick, While you act like you're Gods gift. You'll be that love of mine.
4.
Sunlight 02:54
Let's take a walk outside, Enjoy a little daylight, Feel the warmth of the sunshine, Kicking back in the breeze. You'll remember this, And I'll remember you remembering, The day we swapped our shoes, And time stood still while we admired The shapes I threw in those high heels, You never wore again, Because I stretched the straps, But I made you laugh. Let's take a walk outside, Enjoy a little daylight, Feel the warmth of the sunshine, Kicking back in the breeze. The day after I got the call To tell me that she'd passed. And it was strange to hear the news, So long expected but it still gave me a sense of doom, A closing door That shuts on all of us eventually. And you were sweet I'm still your dancing queen. Let's take a walk outside, Enjoy a little daylight, Feel the warmth of the sunshine, Kicking back in the breeze. With the birds and the bees, I'm ready to breathe. I'm ready to breathe.
5.
This old world's got a new trick for you, The people change but the song remains the same. So we're down the pub playing a game of bullshit bingo, Solving this world's problems, Not to mention a few of the next one's. Everybody's got that beady look in their eyes, Transfixing the attention So nobody's going to be getting any sleep tonight. The people change but the song's remain the same. This old world's got a new trick for you, The people change but the song remains the same. We're departing to all points of the compass London, New York, Canada, Australia. Nothing but the same old story Find the Irish pub and keep on going, The same desperation But with no good pints of porter. The people change but the song's remain the same. This old world's got a new trick for you, The people change but the song remains the same. Now I know nothing but I know bull when I smell it, From the Soldiers of Destiny support group in the snug next door. We hear them spin the past around the roundabout, Until the past gets dizzy and spews, All over everybody we know. This old world's got a new trick for you, The people change but the song remains the same.
6.
On Raglan Road on an autumn day I saw her first and knew That her dark hair would weave a snare that I might one day rue; I saw the danger, yet I passed along the enchanted way, And I said, let grief be a fallen leaf at the dawning of the day. On Grafton Street in November we tripped lightly along the ledge Of the deep ravine where can be seen the worth of passion's pledge, The Queen of Hearts still making tarts and I not making hay - Oh I loved too much and by such by such is happiness thrown away. I gave her gifts of the mind I gave her the secret sign that's known To the artists who have known the true gods of sound and stone And word and tint without stint for I gave her poems to say. With her own name there and her own dark hair like clouds over fields of May On a quiet street where old ghosts meet I see her walking now Away from me so hurriedly my reason must allow That I had loved not as I should a creature made of clay - When the angel woos the clay he'd lose his wings at the dawn of day.
7.
Runaway 04:40
8.
We read about our heroes, Defining by what we are not, The past offers no comfort, To current situation, And I could go on. Standing on the shoulders of blood. The winners write the history, The losers pay the price, The whiners go on whining, While the good put up the fight. Standing on the shoulders of blood, Standing on the shoulders of giants, Standing on the shoulders of love, Standing on the shoulders of giants. Standing on the shoulders of blood. Standing on the shoulders of blood. There's someone acting stupid, Acting the maggot more like, If I could sum up this country, It would be with the wink of an eye, And I could go on. There's a feeling in the wires, There's someone in the night, Who's putting out the fires, That everyone else did light. Standing on the shoulders of blood. Standing on the shoulders of blood. Standing on the shoulders of blood, Standing on the shoulders of giants, Standing on the shoulders of love, Standing on the shoulders of giants.
9.
We're only oceans apart, Yet I can see you well. You claim the cream of the crop, And I know you well. You are the shame at the top, And I can tell you, I will be your enemy, I will be your enemy. We're only oceans apart, Yet I can see you well. You claim the cream of the crop, And I know you well. You are the shame at the top, And I can tell you, I will be your enemy, I will be your enemy. We set sail for seas of opulence, Green eyed and talking nonsense, You only get what you put in, You earn it back by how you live Stop talking shit you dick. You gotta build a bridge and get over it. We're only oceans apart, Yet I can see you well. You claim the cream of the crop, And I know you well. You are the shame at the top, And I can tell you, I will be your enemy, I will be your enemy. I'm hearing what you're saying, But that makes no difference to the price of beer. We're struggling to rock the roll, Snouts in the trough and kids going cold, Anger on the streets and talking to Joe, We gotta build a bridge and get over it. We're only oceans apart, Yet I can see you well. You claim the cream of the crop, And I know you well. You are the shame at the top, And I can tell you, I will be your enemy, I will be your enemy. Build a bridge, build a bridge and get over it (x4) Get a little bit of rock and roll, get a little bit of rock and roll. (x4) We're only oceans apart, Yet I can see you well. You claim the cream of the crop, And I know you well. You are the shame at the top, And I can tell you, I will be your enemy, I will be your enemy. We're only oceans apart, Yet I can see you well. You claim the cream of the crop, And I know you well. You are the shame at the top, And I can tell you, I will be your enemy, I will be your enemy.
10.
11.
It's a suicide, A rage in arms, It's a suicide, That brings me home.
12.
13.
14.
She spent her time learning the stations of the cross, Learning how to be saved how to be lost. While she was trapped her heart was flying, Oh boy you don't know what you've been missing. You could tell from her face she could talk for Ireland, And for a shy girl that is saying something. Her words were like the leaves in the spring, Whispering till winter silences them. I told her I could not try harder to be loved, I needed love so much I missed that she felt none. There was a secret she could not tell anyone, And when she'd leave the room she'd leave the light on. Where there was a hill to climb she found a mountain, And though she lived in fear she tried hard to surmount them. When I hold her close I feel her tremble, And I know she knows she'll live forever. In her dreams there is a darkness waiting, Controls her days by turning nights to searching, Where is the thought that birthed the knowledge? We do not control the things that make us. She disappears in burning lights and silver shades, From the birth of night to dawning of the day. Held in peril deep and darkest night spring, There comes relief with understanding. In the dark there is a daylight waiting, It waits for love the night is listening. And when night meets day the birds start singing, Oh boy you don't know what you've been missing. You don't know what you've been missing. You don't know what you've been missing. You don't know what you've been missing.
15.
Don't let it bring you down. Desperation clouds the arithmetic, Panic at the disco and Freudian fits. Hormones and hot bodies scratching the itch, Anger and loneliness together it fits, And I didn't know what to do with it. The beat goes on and you can't ignore it, The beat goes on and you can't ignore it, The beat goes on and on and on and on... Don't let it bring you down. Atlas, map, compass, advice and tips, All ignored in favour of whip, And the whip was the words that they used to inflict, The mortification you felt when it hit. Awkward and different and trying to find, The thing that marks you out from the crowd, But keeps you part of the gang, Safety in numbers and all of that jazz. Anything to avoid the hit, Anything to avoid the hit, Anything to avoid the hit, The hit that they used to keep you underfoot. Don't let it bring you down.
16.
We are a flash, In the blink of an eye we are gone, And there’s no turning back. We are a flash, And nobody knows, What really happens next. History shows us that everything changes, And everything stays the same. The world turns and witnesses folly, On a scale too large to understand. But love will retain the best of emotion, The moments that burn themselves into your conscience, There are words and interpretations, That cannot explain the millionth deception, The world will never be the same, But remember that nothing ever changes. We are a flash, In the blink of an eye we are gone, And there’s no turning back. We are a flash, And nobody knows, What really happens next. The world in a matchbox designed by another, The spark that is struck into light then Blown out by the fickle flightings of chance, Breaking your heart, breaking your back. I cannot explain how I feel, And I know that these words only grope at my meaning, There is nothing to say that’s not already said, But when people are born they forget, What came before. Each generation goes back to the Start of the flash, In the blink of an eye we are gone, And there’s no turning back. We are a flash, And nobody knows, What really happens next. History repeats itself, The joys and the pain are the same, We all get a little more educated, And a little more expectant. Lost in the eye of the world, Wondering what we are. Everything changes, And everything stays the same. Everybody loves, But some people are always lost. We are a flash, In the blink of an eye we are gone, And there’s no turning back. We are a flash, And nobody knows, What really happens next.
17.
When I was ten years on the run, I could not stand still. Always moving mountains And making mountains out of mole hills. Running to find myself, Turning inside out and upside down as well. When I was ten years on the run. I was not the beginning of change. I see a house on the horizon That calls me home again, And I am not ready for that. Tender rose of tender years You're missing something off the beaten track, Petrified of being wrong. When I was ten years on the run. I am a darkness inside shadow, Burning clear only when out on parole. I am not controlling loving, I am not directing anything, Anything that I can see from here. When I was ten years on the run, Where was I? Am I going? Diving deeper, to unknown waters, I know I'll not 'prehend them, But isn't that the joy of journeying? The urge to move The urge to know ourselves. When I was ten years on the run. Discovery in brutal slashes, Returns to me in moments when I lose myself. And I cannot remember, All the instances of love, of hate, of laughter, All the things that I've been shown are true. And false, and I remember, How we used to shake our heads. When I was ten years on the run, All these cares that I've tried hard to caress, I am remembering the look upon your face, I am trying to remember your smile, And I hope that I can see it soon, And I hope that I can take it in my stride, And I hope love will find its place for me, Or translate its pretty patterns for me, And I will love until my last breath, And I will love until I scatter myself, Onto the rocks of some far distant shore, With whitetops marking skyline from sea borne, And I am moving into sleep now love, And I will trust you not to trust too much, And I will trust you not to say too much, And I will trust you not to bleed too much. I am learning I am learning as I go... I am learning I am learning as I go... I am learning I am learning as I go... When I was ten years on the run.
18.
I can feel it coming, I can feel it on my face, My eyes are closed but I can see the sun shining, Blossoms on the trees, people chilling out upon the lawn, Love is in the air and in the joy that you can hear from the ice cream van song. Rain might come for a little while, But sun returns to light your fire. Everything is gonna be alright, Everything is gonna be alright, Everything is gonna be alright, Everything is gonna be alright. We all got our own weights to bear, The past, the future, woulda, coulda, shoulda, it's not fair. Boy, you're gonna carry that weight somehow, Girl, you're gonna figure it out now. Every now and then we're down, But that is life, just stand proud. Everything is gonna be alright, Everything is gonna be alright, Everything is gonna be alright, Everything is gonna be alright.
19.
I am 3 parts animal, to 4 parts mentalist, I am diving in waters deep and I cannot swim. When I am singing I am dancing I am moving, I am crying I am loving I am proving, I am living I am bursting at the seams with hope. Oh… I am floating on waves of the love of strangers, I am waiting until I recognise you to shout. When you’re down and out and trying to make head or tail of this, Remember you are not alone in the darkness, Music can bring you home before you lose yourself. Oh… I am lost, I am found, I am here, I am not, I am gone, I am back, I am ready to start again. I can hear my song on the radio, de nuh nuh neeh neeh nuh ‘n nee. Those pretty summer dresses flowing in and out and all around me. When I am singing I am dancing I am moving, I am crying I am loving I am proving, I am living I am bursting at the seams with hope. Oh…
20.
A Rising 06:54
Here she comesHere she comes Arriving Surprising A Rising Panic expanding Blooming Excellent fear, Sweat and despair, Knotted inside Tangled and blind, Twisted & shy Tortured but fine On the outside Cool, calm, collected & smiling. Desperate times, Desperate times, The nerves twitch Extra time, Extra time, Everything wide, Cute hoors in sight, No scoring tonight, Confused by the rush, Closed door is flush To the wall my eyeline Nothing is right All in good time All in good time, Bent by the weight Of the past and What might be? What will be my lines? It’s not fair, It’s not fair, It’s not fair, When I cannot see your face no more I’ll not be on this earth. Plenty of fish, Plenty of fish, In the sea, Flea in your ear, Stung by a jeer, A boor with a shot glass Of seasonal cheer, Plenty more here Where that came from. Having the craic Ignoring the quieter Voices inside Reminding you why You fell on your arse Star struck and worse Dreams are for fools Romantics and chancers, Look at you now, You shortstopped fool on a pin, Sprawling and filleted Flounders and flipped Wigged out and thick, Blood boiled and whipped Up for the jaunt, Slapped up and taunting The difference engine That decodes your message A cry to the darkness A plea for a sentence A denial of love A line drawn through hope A furious anger A cold, hard pain piercing A world on a fish hook, An eye for the black book A change in the weather A course fit for feathering Nests of the memory. Burnt by the remaining Slivers of hope From a dark horse On a tightrope. It’s not fair, It’s not fair, It’s not fair, When I cannot see your face no more I’ll not be on this earth. Look at you now The fool flying Hard diving King of the lowdown Not knowing All seeing Everything change, Thoughts rearranged Panic at disco Beat that you fit to, Vastly unwinding Spring turns to summer Falls flat on its face Caused by too much tequila Getting the knack now, Nothing like practice To improve your chances Nothing to prove And nowhere to hide Nowhere to go to No thoughts to think Just drown them in drink And a nod and a wink Hammer and nail, And tongues of all order Make sense of the random, Banish the stammer. A Memory A Memory, A sudden drop Quickly followed by a short stop Surprising Defining But lost shape on the landing United Divided Excited Delighted Enlightened And frightened. Cover me now, Cover me now, An old joke Flying the nest, Five of the best Minutes to gather my thoughts Before rest, Bed gravity pulls and I Need no distress I am electing to Find my own way Make my own mistakes, Find my own two feet And not accept defeat This is my choice This is my voice This is my wound This is my fault This is my loop This is my line This is A Rising This is A Rising This is A Rising
21.
The first time that I met you girl, I could tell that you’d been crying, I could tell that you’d been crying girl, And I just wanted to fix you. The first time that I met you girl, I could feel those wheels flip into motion, Feel that slow turn start to moving, As we made a connection. So please help me see, Help me breathe, More than I can now Cos I’ve been calling, I’ve been crawling, I’ve been calling, But I can’t survive love. Love’s a different kind of reaction, A different kind of distraction, When all you want to do is make it. Can you not see? When you’re crawling on your knees, Begging life to take it easy, You’re missing the point, Think about your journey, Not your destination, Your journey, Not your destination. So please help me see, Help me breathe, More than I can now Cos I’ve been calling, I’ve been crawling, I’ve been calling, But I can’t survive love. If the night didn’t come we’d never see the stars. So please help me see, Help me breathe, More than I can now Cos I’ve been calling, I’ve been crawling, I’ve been calling, But I can’t survive love.
22.
I was older than the hills before I walked, Younger than my years when I talked, And every word I said, Was a length of rope to hang myself with. My hands are aching, My tongue is a problem, But my feet keep walking, They keep asking me questions. Who are you now? And where’re we going to? What are the chances of flying? I was older than the hills before I walked, Younger than my years when I talked, But can you tell me when you’re dying inside, Can you wait until the feeling fades? What’s up for the other man? Trying to understand, Things in life that get him down, A straw to break his back, Each time he give out. I was older than the hills before I walked, Younger than my years when I talked, And every word I said, Was a length of rope to hang myself with. Who are you now? And where’re we going to? Why don’t you ask me a question, And see where it leads you? Who are you now? And where’re you going to? And tell me what is the plan? I was older than the hills before I walked, Younger than my years when I talked, But can you tell me when you’re dying inside, Can you wait until the feeling fades? But tell me when you’re dying inside, Can you wait until the feeling fades? But tell me when you’re dying inside, Can you wait until the feeling fades?
23.
I wish I was born in the ocean, I wish I was born far out to sea. I wish I could love like the ancients, I wish I could tell stories properly. I miss you, I need you, I’m trying to hear you, I lift you, you save me, a wonderful feeling, I’m kicking the bucket, I’m losing my shape, And I’m trying to hide that I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m doing. These are the words that I heard uttered, These are the thoughts we tried to hide, I won’t be looking back come the autumn, I’ll be trying to understand the change in the weather. I miss you, I need you, I’m trying to heed you, I lift you, you save me, a wonderful feeling, I’m kicking the bucket, I’m losing my shape, And I’m trying to hide that I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m doing. I cannot believe what I’m doing, I cannot accept my consequences, These are just words that I heard uttered, They help me to bleed, they help me to fly. I miss you, I need you, I’m trying to heal you, I lift you, you save me, a wonderful feeling, I’m kicking the bucket, I’m losing my shape, And I’m trying to hide that I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m doing.
24.
Step 04:19
25.
I want to break out, I want to be free, I want to take over all the things that possess me. I want to reach out and hug the world, I want to live a life that I can call absurd. I want to learn, I want to bleed, I want to reach out and show the world, All the love that it could feel. I'm not attracted to the void, Not a school ground kid throwing toys any more. And all in all I'm not empty handed, I don't know where I am landing, I am not aware of all the secrets of the universe. But I am breathing, Breathing deep, Recovering my youth while I can sleep. And late at night with thoughts whizzing through my head, I can believe, I can smile, I can work. And all in all I'm not empty handed, I don't know where I am landing, I am not aware of all the secrets of the universe. I was brought up on different streets, The price of love was dear to me, The thoughts tore me apart, Before too long I was a different man. I want to break out, I want to be free, I want to take over all the things that possess me, I want to reach out and hug the world, I want to live a life that I can call absurd.
26.
Where will we go? Who will we be when we return, When you return my Heart? Where are you now? A shooting star maps out the path to your rest, My Heart, my Heart. When you left it was as though God had stopped the clocks – as if he exists. And I know my hands were tied but that won’t stop me wondering & wandering. Won’t stop me wondering. When I am gone, As you are gone, I hope I’ll have changed this world I’m on. I wish you well, On your travels, my Heart. My Heart, we never even got to talk. When you left it was as though God had stopped the clocks – as if he exists. And I know my hands were tied but that won’t stop me wondering & wandering. Won’t stop me wondering.
27.
I’m gonna break this barrier,I’m gonna brave this crossfire, Yeah I’m gonna light upon your right, And pound your doubt with a hammer. Senses divined by meanings, Source is disconnected feelings, Painting by all the numbers that don’t exist. Carbon monoxide brewing, Clouds that obstruct your being, Words that burst your heart like an exploding sun. Yeah I’m gonna break this barrier, I’m gonna brave this crossfire, Yeah I’m gonna light upon your right, And pound your doubt with a hammer. Come on over now… I’m gonna bend but not break, I’m gonna live with my mistakes, I’m gonna breathe and then hear, I’m coming loaded for bear. Yeah I’m gonna break this barrier, I’m gonna brave this crossfire, Yeah I’m gonna light upon your right, And pound your doubt with a hammer.
28.
My name is Max, I am 9 months old, I am a super hero! Max is my name, But you can call me Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) I know I am a super hero, Cos I can play piano with my toes, I am… Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) I’m really good, At swinging on swings, Until I giggle! I have two teeth, So watch out! Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) I know I am a super hero, Cos my parents think I can do anything. I am… Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) And all the ladies love, My blue eyes, And my long eyelashes! They all love me, So watch out! Maximiliano! (Maximiliano). I know I am a super hero, Cos when I bat my lashes everyone goes “Ahhh” I am… Maximiliano! (Maximiliano) Maximiliano! (Maximiliano)
29.
Don’t ask me to talk, Don’t ask me to understand, Don’t ask me to forgive you, For cutting me off. Don’t ask me to separate, Don’t ask me to explain, Don’t ask me to pretend, Don’t ask me to blame. I am ruled by confusion, The silence kills me, The hurt that’s inside me, Consumes me. I dial the number, In my head, But I always wake up, Before they pick up. Feeling just like a child now, Way back when, Thoughts were my company, Friends were too good to me. Divide and conquer, Rise and fall, She builds an empire, And I walk. Chose where to step next, Choose right or wrong, Words building walls, Your words in my wall. You’re not walking, You’re running away, You’re not living, you’re dying, you’re lying, That’s what they all say. Don’t ask me to prove it, Don’t waste your time, Come hell or high water, You’ll be fine. We are changing, In the same way. Divide and conquer, Rise and fall, She builds an empire, And I walk. I walk. Don’t ask me to prove it, Don’t waste your time, Come hell or high water, You’ll be fine. You’ll be living. You’re not walking, You’re running away, You’re not living, you’re dying, you’re lying, That’s what they all say.
30.
We wake at night – a howling in the darkness, It comes from the right, then works right around us. The night is cold, carving its name out, Who are we now? And where do we come from? Ringing bells, ghosts are upon us, Ghosts of the past, future and present. Hopeful yet, but feeling the time, Desperate inside, but outside, fine. We hold out until the dawn, Gritty-eyed, tired and worn. Tell me now where you want to go, And tell me where your courage has gone? Tell me why the past haunts you so. Tell me where you keep your secrets, love? Running, running, running away from it, Trying to stop the pain but it catches you, Hoping to fly away from the darkness. Daring, daring, daring, daring to take it, Laughing and crying and living and learning, How to stick it all back together again. You try to love, you try to heal, You try to encourage, to plant a seed, You try to be all things to all people – even though you know you’re going to fail. And you don’t know why but it leaves you wasted, You’re wasted cos it was not what you wanted, And what you wanted was the simple things that you’ve been ignoring. Now here it comes, now here it comes, The moment you must make your choice, you know it, Time to grasp that nettle that’ll keep you honest. Tell me now where you want to go, And tell me where your courage has gone? Tell me why the past haunts you so. Tell me where you keep your secrets, love?
31.
I am ready, I am ready, I am ready to let go, I am ready, I am ready, I am ready to explode. Caught in a crossfire,Between what your heart wants, And what your head needs to have. You make a decision, Get shot down in a heartbeat, This fickle, fleeting life. I won’t back down I won’t let this go, This is my life till my blood runs cold, I know, I know this feeling too well, I know, I know this feeling too well. I won’t back down, I won’t let go, This is my life, Till blood runs cold. There are crazy situations every hour of the day, It is hard sometimes to stand up, When every word you say is like a dagger held beside your heart, You’d be crazy to be carefree. This is a time when every notion is a flicker on the sun, Well lit, but very hard to see, Close your eyes before you cry your eyes out, Close your eyes and sing along with me. I won’t back down I won’t let this go, This is my life till my blood runs cold, I know, I know this feeling too well, I know, I know this feeling too well. I won’t back down, I won’t let go, This is my life, Till blood runs cold. I am ready, I am ready, I am ready to let go, I am ready, I am ready, I am ready to explode. I won’t back down I won’t let this go, This is my life till my blood runs cold, I know, I know this feeling too well, I know, I know this feeling too well. I won’t back down I won’t let this go, This is my life till my blood runs cold, I know, I know this feeling too well, I know, I know this feeling too well.
32.
Can you tell me what the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? When I look today at the world I see, Various forms of insanity, If you said them all at once they’d lock you up. I’ve been laughing hard ironically, At the state of the economy, And the back and forth of what we must do next. Since way back when we’ve had this thing, The double standard nod and wink, We can say one thing and mean the opposite. Cos everybody knows the way, It’s not what you know, it’s who’s your mate, And this can change, but don’t hold your breath. Can you tell me what the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? On the news today was a looting spree, A market crash and recovery, Murders, swindles, deaths and a singing dog. I am sick and tired of hearing how, And why, and if, milk the cash cow, The things you want will never complete you. The world is changed, the internet, Facebook, Youtube, Google Adsense, And happy slapping, and one behind the ear. If perception is reality, You should believe just half of what you see, And none of what you hear or read. Can you tell me what the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? Anarchy is not ok, And anger is an energy, And sometimes we must stand to overcome. But be careful when you’re speaking plain, Cos the truth is that’s the easy way, To make people think that you need a lesson. I am trying hard not to be cynical, But it’s really hard not to be though, Trust no one, and you’ll never be trusted. I’ve heard it said, and I think it’s true, That “The truth will set you free”. But first my friends it will make you miserable. Can you tell me what the hell is going on? What the hell is going on?
33.
Three Times 03:00
I’ve got love on my mind, I’ve got blood on my hands but I can’t see it. I’ve got love on my mind, I’ve got blood on my hands but I can’t see it. I’ve been changing my hair and my hands are too excited to heat. They have changed my room three times without my noticing. They have changed my room three times without my noticing. They have called me a million names, now I am done pretending. Three times is a charm but a fourth is just taking the piss, Three times is a charm but a fourth is just taking the piss, There is something in my rear-view mirror that has ceased to exist. If you’ve nothing to say worth saying you’d better shut your mouth, If you’ve nothing to say worth saying you’d better shut your mouth, See that’s the trouble with the modernity, every dickhead on the planet’s giving out. But if you’ve something to say worth saying, man, you’d better scream and shout.
34.
Shut Up 01:25
She leaps before she looks, She talks before she thinks, She runs before she walks, She thinks we’re made to talk. We think she’s full of shit, She sense this and stops, But starts again to talk, She cannot bring herself to SHUT UP! Trying not to make an impression, She fails because she causes obsession, She’d make you want to go to confession, Pull your own teeth out of simple frustration. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, Give me a reason to, Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, Give me an excuse to, Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, Half a second to, Bury my boot up your arse, Throw a dart at your face, Drown your words with the dark, Stop your idiot laugh, Because you make me upset, I’d like to choke you to death, And if you’d just stop to think, You could avoid all of this.
35.
Caught up in the lines,These crazy looping lines of love. We got stuck in the rut, The sticking chorus line that clung. Oh I don’t know why, I don’t feel right at all. I guess I miss your meaning, Interloper, what do you know? You choose options to make you, Feel more at home than you deserve. You cause changings of meanings, You doubt your course, You fight the flood. Oh I don’t think you’ve got it right or got it wrong, Oh I’m not lost all I can say is, “Good night, and good luck”. I don’t know how I am changed, But I won’t go back. I won’t let go. I won’t look back, I will return, I just hope I change enough. Caught up in the lines, These crazy looping lines of blood. A night dying in your eyes, A dawn ahead to love. I guess I miss your meaning, Where you come from I don’t know. Stranger things have come from the night, To comfort hope. It’s time to change the channel, Move your mind outside the obvious. It’s time to learn a lesson, Think yourself outside these clothes you’ve worn. Oh I don’t know why, I don’t know why, I do not know, I think I miss your meaning, You’ve lost faith in what I know. So let it go now, your anger, let it go. So let it go now, your anger, let it go. So let it go now, your anger, let it go.
36.
Friends 03:30
My friends, my friends, gather ’round I’ve got something to say to you, You won’t like it much, but that’s neither here nor there. We stopped off, got drunk, got high and danced like lunatics, And then I talked to the walls ‘cos no one else was listening. No one else was listening, No one else was listening, No one else was listening. Now that we all know exactly where we’re going, I’d like to take this chance to boom the conversation bomb. When you woke up you heard the sound of the city, When you slept you dreamed about the trebled sound of your pain. They were one and the same, They were one and the same, They were one and the same. You know you shouldn’t treat her like that, It’ll come back to haunt you. You know the sound of her pain, Drowns out the noise, The rack and the whip, The torture of the situation, The devil in charge of the work detail, You’re wringing your hands, On a decision you’ve already made.
37.
I Don't Know 02:43
I am not what you think I am,I am not what you say, I am not all these things, these labels, You use to categorise me. Oh no! These are not reasonable thoughts, This is not why I love, These thoughts are not my reasons, My reasons are my own but I don’t know. I just don’t know, I just don’t know.
38.
Smile 02:53
I claimed the last of the hooch this Sunday,My head feels like I drank the whole world dry, And I bared my soul on Monday, Like a life spread out to smile. Feeling older – wildly fit, Like a saw into a jig, And it still burns and it still hurts, And I still yearn and I still curse. I took care of business gladly, I smiled off the lack of air, And the world it smiled on me sweetly, So I take joy in the pint of plain. But I’m feeling older – wildly fit, Like a saw into a jig, And it still burns and it still hurts, And I still yearn and I still curse. I’m feeling older – wildly fit, Like a saw into a jig, And it still burns and it still hurts, And I still yearn and I still curse.
39.
Am I wearing out my welcome? Have I said too much, Been hanging round for far too long? Is my presence not here wanted? Should I leave before the water freezes round our friendship? The stillness freezes me, There’s a knife that can be used to cut this subtle tension. There is loneliness in love, And a part of that is knowing when to start the arguments. And I’m asking for your patience, I am asking for a little bit of your time. I am asking for your conversation, And I’m wondering about that silly look, That you carry with you everywhere you go. Harmony illusion, Fear in love but love is dear, I’d not buy a single moment, But all you can do is calculate the cost of hoping. And I’m asking for your patience, I am asking for a little bit of your time. I am asking for your conversation, And I’m wondering about that silly look, That you carry with you everywhere you go. Beyond the door, Is the fight you’re looking for. I need you more, Than I’ve ever done before.
40.
Hurts You So 04:06
I took a picture of this, I knew when I took it that this was it, And something touched me. It’s anchored in the ground, And it doesn’t move you till the parsimony cuts you down, And nothing warns you like the first line. Your reflection looks at you, And accuses you of nothing new, And on Monday morning it’ll hurt you so. When it hurts you so, When your world’s going crazy, And you don’t know If you’re coming or going, Don’t look now but you don’t know that half of it baby. What takes your breath away, Is how your day turns and single moments eviscerate, All your contemplation leaving raging emotion. The sun smells when it dawns And the sky moons you when it rains, You’re lost and scared, tired, mad, bad, sad & wicked. And what you touched before, Seems so stale that when you take it, Nothing irks you more, Than the things that never mattered before. When it hurts you so, When your world’s going crazy, And you don’t know If you’re coming or going, Don’t look now but you don’t know that half of it baby. As the moment comes around, Your resolve hits the ground, You’re itching and squirming, Screaming on the inside, but quietly. And everything hits base, And the universe clicks in place, And you don’t know why but it hurts you so.
41.
Sleepyhead 02:10
Sleepyhead, What’s going round in your head? Animals and pretty bowls, Adventures and seismic events. Go to sleep, Try not to weep, Try not to think too much about, The mountains you’ll climb When you’re big. Though your father doesn’t want you to yet, And your mother doesn’t want you to … yet. Excellent, You’ve managed to, Turn yourself arse over tit, Again, I think you’ll grow up to be an architect. Sleepyhead, You’re better off in bed, At your age you’re likely, To conquer the empire, That’s just beyond your fingertips. Though your father doesn’t want you to yet, And your mother doesn’t want you to … yet.
42.
Love is Hell 02:41
All I know is that love was hell, And it broke my heart. Parting is sweet solitude, You make me laugh. We are lost and we go on, For miles, and miles and miles… Coming out of winters heart, The world stood still. I couldn’t come up with even 5 words, And half of those were yours. You took my hand and walked me out, And all that I could think of was the day when I first saw your eyes. And I am lost and I am scared And I can’t seem to remember. The reason why we’re crying, Or the reason we were laughing But I know that someday We’ll look back on this and laugh.
43.
Sitting, waiting for the world to change, I’m going underneath the blaming game. Watching people under dark streetlights, Anticipation in that orange night. Tired of talk, time to listen for a change, No destination in mind, I’m ok. I’m alright, a little uptight maybe, But that’s nothing strange, just the way I operate. And you, you, permanently you, In the corner of the room, Snakes and ladders with our hearts, The root, the root, the source of all our youth. Cos we’re as young as we feel, Not how much that we’ve been used. I cry cos I’m lost, And I’m lost cos I lied, And I lied cos of fear, And the fear has me running, Away form the light, That is burning inside, My mind and my heart, Till infinity stops, My emotion is clear, It rings like a bell, It sounds like a new sun rising.
44.
Who are you? Sending a message out into the darkness. Who are you? Sending a message out into the darkness. All alonely, and the clocks are stopped. Staring at walls and hoping the world won’t knock. Your door closed for an eternity, Your eyes drinking and your heart twitching. And we’re never strong, We’re never strong enough. And we’re never wise, We’re never wise enough. And we’re never smart, We’re never smart enough. Nobody’s there, There there, love. Who are you? Sending a message out into the darkness. Who are you? Sending a message out into the darkness. Temptation invades your streets again, Eyes wide open, to the crawling under your skin. And hate twisting the way you hold yourself, And night listening to the crying of your tears again. And we’re never strong, We’re never strong enough. And we’re never wise, We’re never wise enough. And we’re never smart, We’re never smart enough. Nobody’s there, There there, love. Who are you? Sending a message out into the darkness. Who are you? Sending a message out into the darkness.
45.
Chips 03:02
It’s the last song of the last encore, The last gig, last night of the tour, Someone’s just arrived to the stage with a pint for me and, I can see where this is going, It could be a long night, hopefully, But that’s alright by me, that’s right, it’s alright, Let’s go and let our hair down all over this town tonight. We’ve been out for a month stop-start and all over, But now we can relax, unwind and unsober ourselves, Take over the jukebox, so the tunes are sublime, Ian’s on the beer and Jamies on the wine. Or maybe not! Cos I was really, really reaching for a rhyme there, So come on! Kick back and have a good time. Next stop is another bar, It’s the last night of the tour, And I’ve been trying very hard, To remember my name and count my fingers and toes, Not to slur my words or Talk too much proverbial. Where are you going with that traffic cone? Ahh, I’m only holding it for fun, to take a picture on my phone, Garda, honest! Bit of high spirits, sorry about that, Just give me a second and I’ll bring it right back, If I can remember exactly where I got it from, that is, And pigs might fly… Can I buy you a pint? Next stop is another bar, It’s the last night of the tour, And I’ve been trying very hard, To remember my name and count my fingers and toes, Not to slur my words or Talk too much proverbial. The last thing I remember we were eating some chips, They weren’t terribly good but they scratched the itch. Everybody talking the proverbial shite, At least I’m not on my own for once in my life, And now I think it’s time I went and found my bed, With a pint of water for the pain in my head.
46.
Sit With Me 03:50
Going homeward I look through the window, It’s cold and the snow coats the mountains, Passing by me these long miles down the road, Looking forward to meeting and greeting. It’s you I return to, It’s you I would love to, It’s you and I see you, It’s you and I need you, The talk of the town And the world, you’re so pretty, I love you so much, Come here and sit with me. I see you, I wanted to be there, Fire lit and tree smothered in tinsel, Christmas and the warmth of the season, Good will to all men and all women. It’s you I return to, It’s you I would love to, But I got interrupted, Did not see it coming, More than half way home, Got caught in a car crash, As they cut me out, I bled out on the roadside. So I won’t be back, Goodbye my darling, I will miss you so, I am so sorry.
47.
Fool 02:36
It feels sometimes that you're gone over the edge, You fell off a cliff, you wouldn't play that game. I don't know about the things you say, When up is down and black is white and straight is gay. I don't know if it's the child that's talking, You never grew up, you never learned that way. I don't know if it's the way you think, Or the way you were taught that you could move that way. Yeah I know that I am in your thoughts, And I am in your soul, And I will give it back to you, When you have paid your debt, fool. I had a dream about scratching the itch, I had a dream about holding the line. I saw myself in big fast car going straight and swift, Over the finishing line. Well who am I to declare that I'm good or I'm bad, Or I'm lost or found - or anything like, That smooth, slick on the lip flip, And the blood that rises at closing time. Yeah I know that I am in your thoughts, And I am in your soul, And I will give it back to you, When you have paid your debt, fool. I dropped off the map then reappeared, To return myself to life. I hold all the aces in my heart And I can turn them each in time. I lose nothing else by kicking off, I help myself to wind. And I know that I'm in your thoughts, Like a worm that lurks and returns to eat your insides. Seperation parks my words And robs them of their guts and balls, If you could hear them from my lips I think you'd know you could not come and call. I have not lost myself but yet I am still lost. And I cannot feel my legs or talk, Or sink, or swim, or lose control. Yeah I know that I am in your thoughts, And I am in your soul, And I will give it back to you, When you have paid your debt, fool.
48.
On the line, hog-tied, Underestimated lives, And you are all alone, A thousand million miles from home tonight. As the sun went down and over the edge, It fell off a cliff and maimed itself, Then you had another drink or thirteen. Diving inside, alive, Investigating rumours of the holes within your soul That you keep looking for. There are a million different ways to think, A dozen thoughts held in your head, At the same time your face looks like an anvil. There was a chance that you could play that part, A chance that you could fool yourself, And everyone around you looking on. But there's no time left for amusement, No time for confusion, It's time to test the strength of your rope. Something rears it's Ugly head and You can't see Any way out of here.
49.
Stay up late, turn the lights down low, Put something good on the stereo, There's a text on my phone but I don't want to know, Too many twists and turns on that road, Free your mind, conquer your fears, Tomorrow's a new frontier. Too close to touch, too together to part, Too young to die of a broken heart. Anything is better than being alone, Burned by the past and abandoning hope. Torn between love and desire, Burning so high it obscures your horizons. Your only mistake was to love too much, Your only mistake was to cover it up. Delicately losing the plot again, Desperately trying to keep that hidden. Your whole world filled with confusion, Your whole life lived with a devil on your shoulder. Told you those lies then I disappeared, Took a year off and grew a beard, Thought I could change but I could not, Thought I could unravel that knot. And the only sound that makes any sense any more, Is the sound of your voice in the afterglow, The sound of your voice on the radio, The sound of your crying through the door, The sound of your silence and your lightning bolts, The sound of your eyes can soften the blow. The sound of your mind over and above, The sound of your time over and over again, The sound of your life as you live it, The sound of your time as you give it. Stay up late, turn the lights down low, Put something good on the stereo, There's a text on my phone but I don't want to know, Too many twists and turns on that road, Free your mind, conquer your fears, Tomorrow's a new frontier.
50.
Oh, the sun that shines a light on me, That leads me to the sea. The conversations I have heard, Since I have made my peace. The rapture in the heavens sent, With each and every song. No one left to whom I can confess, But the devil and the deepest azure. I walked down by the shoreline, To give myself some peace. All at once I met a friend, He was staring out to sea. "My friend what are you looking for?", I asked him timidly, And he told me he was watching for, The darkness to begin, within himself. I cannot hold myself in, I cannot pinch my cheeks red, I should be wiser than this, But I drift. Oh the gaps that exist on all the maps, Till you can find your peace, Oh the rapture in the words you spoke, When you came quietly, Oh, the tangled meaning of the words As you whispered them to me, It wrapped me up and turned me round, And parked me perfectly. I cannot hold myself in, I cannot pinch my cheeks red, I should be wiser than this, But I drift.
51.
You sit and stare In the company of a clock, That counts you down to when you stop, The silent minutes that fill up your life, And the spark that lit it. Comes bursting out from deep inside, You don't know why you chose to hide, And every word you said before, You disown, you know not what you were. How many times? How many times? How many times do we fall? But we get back on our feet again. The pace, the difference in your face, The choice you make the chance you take, The different meanings you can divine, From other peoples words. It's not like what it was before, You see that words are nothing more, Than what they use to try to hide, The fear that they bury behind their smiles. How many times? How many times? How many times do we fall? But we get back on our feet again. I would just like to take a minute to point out, That we're all human, And sometimes it's a miracle, That not everybody's cynical. You can't wear your life that way, Cos it will blind you to the magic, When you fall, And you get back on your feet again, Fall, then you get back on your feet again. How many times? How many times? How many times do we fall? But we get back on our feet again.
52.
There You Go 02:58
Caught rotten, Staring out a window at nothing in particular, With a poor man's excuse for a horizon in front of me. I've definitely been this way before, I'm just not sure I like the scenery all that much. But there you go. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. That's really beside the point though, Seeing as how all my messages get returned to sender. I'm still busy subdividing my divisions, Into smaller pieces of insignificance. What does it mean? Why should we care? Is that the 4, or the 4GS, or the Desire? In all the cities in all the world is there anyone Who is well qualified to answer your questions? I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. Everybody's trying to be so cool, so calm, so collected, But you should not let that fool you. If you scratch that surface, just a little bit, You will find it, The panic that consumes. It's a hard old station - As someone might once have said before me. Let me tell you, life is not fair, And every chance you get you must grab it, With BOTH HANDS. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want. I just don't know what I want.

about

'Throwing Shit at a Wall', or TS@aW for short is a series of home demos written and recorded throughout 2011 to allow the muse to flow and blow out the cobwebs from the creative corners of my brain.

These aren't intended to be pristinely recorded and honed tracks, more stream-of-conciousness paint splotches to keep me creating & exploring musically and also brushing up on my recording skills...

credits

released January 1, 2011

So far, everything written, recorded, played and produced by Bill Coleman at home, except:

6 - a traditional air known as "The Dawning of the Day" (I believe) with lyrics by Patrick Kavanagh.
7 - written by Kanye West & Pusha T.
18 - written by Bill Coleman and Parisch Browne.
41 - recorded in the Drivers gaff, Seattle.

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Bill Coleman Ireland

Makes music with a laptop, a guitar and a pile of live-recorded loops. Reminds people of Eels, Flaming Lips, Talking Heads...

Spent 2011 writing and recording a song a week - check out the "Throwing S**t at a Wall" album.

Currently working on his third studio album.
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